


Where the sun don't shine

by Esinde Nayrall (red_squared)



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-08
Updated: 2010-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-09 19:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_squared/pseuds/Esinde%20Nayrall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack meta.</p><p>Originally posted <a href="http://red-squared.livejournal.com/102877.html"><b>here</b></a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the sun don't shine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lawless523](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lawless523).



> A short and cracky (pun so, _so_ intended) fic for [](http://lawless523.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lawless523.livejournal.com/)**lawless523**, who inspired it. Notes at the bottom (pun... less intended) for added elucidation, but for now, read on!

The two of them had been in the middle of one of their pointless arguments about something that seemed of paramount importance at the time (but which neither of them would remember later) when they heard the gunshot.

"Oops," Goku said, releasing the strangle-hold he had around Gojyo's throat. "We musta been real loud if he could -- "

"They're all the way at the end of the corridor," Gojyo said. Sanzo had been emphatic about that. "There's no way he heard us," Gojyo said, releasing the grip he had on the waistband of Goku's pants. Instead of hitting the ground headfirst, Goku twisted in midair like the monkey that he was and landed in a crouch.

"I don't sense any youkai pres-- _Whoa_..." Goku said, looking up at Gojyo with wide, wide eyes. "You don't think he shot at _Hakkai_, do you?"

"It's his funeral if he does," Gojyo scoffed, which was clearly the wrong thing to say because Goku didn't look reassured at all. "Let's find out," he sighed, summoning his weapon as he opened the door to their room. Goku dashed past him, nyoi-bo already to hand as he sprinted down the corridor.

Goku had his ear pressed against the door by the time Gojyo caught up. Even without listening closely, he could hear the high pitched, frantic whimpering coming from inside. Exchanging a glance with Goku, he gave the monkey an impatient 'hey, make room for me' shove and set his ear against the door to Sanzo and Hakkai's room, too.

" -- sure that we passed a leather goods shop on the way in," Hakkai was saying. He sounded calm, but that didn't really tell them anything. "It won't take long to find something suitable, and I really think that after tonight -- "

He exchanged another glance with Goku and then, on some unspoken agreement, they bothed pressed closer to the door as Sanzo interrupted to murmur something inaudible.

"Well, yours is smaller than most, that's true. But the shop looked as though it had an extensive selection -- not that I was thinking about this when we drove past, ha ha. And if they have nothing to hand, no doubt they could customise or hand-stitch something. I'm sure they're experienced at fitting all sorts of sizes and shapes given their line of -- "

Gojyo pulled away from the door as if it were on fire, not sure whether he wanted to listen to anymore of this and -- when Goku showed no sign of doing the same -- reached out and yoinked the monkey away.

"Hey, what are you -- !"

"Ssh, keep your voice down," he hissed, as they made their way back to their own room. _Smaller than most._ No wonder Sanzo had tried to shoot him.

"Gojyo..."

"Yeah?" He really hoped that Goku wasn't going to ask what the other two had been discussing. Not in light of whatever fetish-fun the other two were having right now. _Smaller than most._ Or not having. Whatever.

"_Gojyo_..." Goku wheedled, and it occurred to Gojyo that Goku probably knew very well what the other two had been discussing and wanted desperately for Gojyo to come up with something else. "You know when Sanzo said his room had to be all the way at the other end of the -- "

"Just don't think about it." He hoped he could do as much himself, but...

~*~

...it certainly didn't help, the next morning, that Hakkai left on an errand before breakfast, returned with a (small) wrapped package (that Goku confirmed smelled 'leathery') and walked it up to Sanzo's room while Goku and Gojyo fought over which of the two of them was getting the Frostie Flakes from the six-pack of mini-cereals available for breakfast.

It helped less that Sanzo, when he finally appeared, was walking in a slightly spraddle-legged manner and seemed to be reluctant to sit down. To say nothing of the satisfied smile that Hakkai wore everytime he glanced over at Sanzo.

In fact, so traumatised were Gojyo and Goku, by everything they'd overheard and seen, that it was only months (and months and _months_) later that it occurred to either of them to ask Sanzo when he'd started wearing a holster for his gun.

**Author's Note:**

> All comments and kudos are appreciated and treasured -- even (especially?) on a fic as old as this one!
> 
> This was inspired by this [**conversation**](http://community.livejournal.com/capslocksaiyuki/71308.html?view=1696140#t1696140) on [](http://community.livejournal.com/capslocksaiyuki/profile)[**capslocksaiyuki**](http://community.livejournal.com/capslocksaiyuki/) with [](http://lawless523.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lawless523.livejournal.com/)**lawless523**, which in turn was based on _this_ HP reference that -- for maximum lulz -- I am not going to provide any context for:
>
>>  
>> 
>> [](http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/books/5/memorablequotes-3)  
> **"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!" -_ Alastor Moody_**  
> Rowling, J.K. _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. New York: Scholastic, 2003. 48  
> 
> 
>   
> CONSTANT VIGILANCE :D


End file.
